Janean

A Week Later

After that night with Bow I decided to let go whatever feelings I have for him. If he approaches me saying he wants something more than what we have fine, but until then I have no emotions. Laying in my birthday suit under my purple comforter in my bed I looked over to my left and smiled at the sight of him sleeping.

I didn’t say I was going to stop fucking him —all relationship feelings are being ignored by me from now on. Pressing my lips into a line I pushed myself out of the bed and made my way to the bathroom to handle my business.

Once I was done cleansing myself I made my back into the bedroom. “Yo.” he mumbled sleepily into his phone. I went over to my dresser and pulled out some under clothes and a maxi dress.

“I’ll be there when I get there shit.” he spat and groaned. I looked over at him and he had his face buried in the pillow. “What’s wrong?” I laughed. “Unique ass man. That hoe getting on my nerves.” he complained and I laughed. 

“I told yo ass fam.”

“Bitch dick sprung no lie.” he shook his head and I laughed some more. “What you about to do?” he asked. “Nothing hit up some stores I guess.” I shrugged. “Why?” I questioned. “I’ma roll with you I ain’t got shit to do today.” He stretched his body as he yawned.

“Alright well see if anybody else wanna hang later. We can go to the movies or something.” I mumbled. 

“You sure?”

“Yeah I ain’t got problem with anybody unless you know something I don’t.” I glanced up at him and he shook his head no. “Nah I’m just making sure you doing it because you want to.” He said and I frowned. “You say that like I never do shit on my own.”

“Nah not even like that. You ain’t seen them since the night we went to the park and lately it has just been me and you.”

“Shad bye.” I laughed and shook my head. “Go get dressed and shit nigga so we can go!” I yelled walking into the kitchen. I want to get breakfast and if he doesn’t get his ass up I’m going to miss it.

**

A little later

“Can you hurry up damn.” Bow mumbled. We were in Ulta and I was having trouble picking out somethings. “We only been in here ten minutes hush.” I rolled my eyes and sniffed the perfume in my hands.

“C’mere do you like this?” I held out my wrist for him to smell. Huffing he smelled my wrist before nodding with a look I couldn’t read. “Quit lying. Do you like it or no?” I huffed with a laugh.

“Yeah I like it now let’s go.” he grabbed my hand and brought me over to the registers. This nigga. “Here go sit in the car and call Tyga and them.” I gave him my keys and he couldn’t have gotten out of here fast enough. I did the purposely just because a bit of jealousy struck in me when we saw Unique at Target.

Petty maybe but I’m no longer upset nor do I have to hide my upsetness. After I pay for my things I made my way back to car and got in on the passenger’s side. “Yall decided on a movie?” I asked as I fastened my seatbelt. 

“Nah we just gon decide when we get there.”

“Alright well let’s stop a McDonald’s. I’m hungry and I ain’t Tryna eat up all my candy now.” I laughed stuffing my twizzlers and things in my purse.

“Gimmie some.” he held out his hand as we drove down the street.

“Noo I ain’t sharing. This is for the movie.” I laughed shoving my purse onto the side of me so he couldn’t get it.

“Gimmie some girl I get you some more when we get there.” he laughed and managed to get my purse from me. “Fuck nigga.” I laughed. “Alright this fuck nigga ain’t gettin you shit.” he laughed. “Nooooo I sowwie.” I pouted trying my hardest to hold in my laughter.

“Nope!” he shook his head with a laugh as we pulled into the theaters parking lot. Making our way inside we spotted everyone in the little arcade section. “Sup y’all.” he greeted giving the girls a hug and the guys daps.

“Hey.” I smiled waving at the guy and Destiny. China didn’t even acknowledge me; oh well. “Don’t just wave at me give me a hug girl!” Destiny cheesed.

Smiling hard as well we shared a much needed hug. “Awwh look at them.” Bow cooed. “Shut up,” Destiny laughed. “So what are we seeing?” she asked draping one of her arms around my shoulder. I didn’t really care what we saw so I just stood there as they went back and forth.

Finally the boys gave into Temptation; I just laughed because they couldn’t out talk China and Destiny. After paying for our tickets we managed to get a seat not too far from the back.

Me and Bow sat towards the middle of the row me being away from China. I don’t have a problem with her but obviously she’s still salty so I’m going to let shit be until she wants to act her age and not her shoe size.

***

“Yo like seriously fuck this shit! I’m out of here before I beat her ass again!” I snatched my purse off the table and made my way towards the exit. After the movie we all decided to go out to eat and I decided that I will try to talk to China so we could at least be civil with one another without dirty looks, but no she wanted to pop off at the mouth. Just before I made it to the exit I was dragged to the bathroom by Bow.

“Yo let me the fuck go.” I spat.

“Nah chill out it ain’t even that deep. If she wanna act like a petty ass little girl fuck it.” He said looking me in the eye as we stared at one another with our backs against either wall. He has a point but damn it he ain’t getting the damn point. 

“Real shit I feel what you saying, but I need to get the fuck outta here.”

“Alright I’ma roll with you. I’ma meet you at the car.”

Nodding I continued to the car and waited for him to join me. As far as I’m concerned don’t nobody have to invite me anywhere where her ass is going to be.

Fuck that and fuck her.

Just as I was about to leave him here he gets into the car. “Dest said call her later.” he informed and I nodded before pulling out onto the busy street. I didn’t have a set place in mind where I wanted to go so we basically drove around town in complete silence until we made back to our place.

He followed me into my apartment and made himself comfortable on the couch. Sitting next to him I took out some pre-rolled blunts and sparked the first one and took a long pull from it. Taking another long hit I blew out the smoke slowly before passing it to him.

Shad (Bow Wow]

Smoking three blunts back to back me and Jay were beyond fucked up. “Thank you.” she mumbled looking at me with low eyes. “For what?” I asked. “Not judging me even after that blow up. You haven’t judge me not once. You let me be me.” She spoke softly. 

“Ain’t no need to thank me.” 

“I know but I want to. I mean instead of hanging with yo boys you hanging with me. They yo best friends and I’m just a fuck buddy.”

“You more than that though. You starting to become my best friend too. They know they my niggas for life so…”

Our eyes never left one another as we slowly moved in for a kiss. I don’t know what it is but it was like that night at the park. I can’t even explain it. Something about this girl got me hooked. She don’t bitch all the damn time.

She got her own shit, laid back as fuck and a banging ass personality. Not to mention her sex game is point. I feel like I’m starting to develop feelings for her but I can’t say nothing to her about; we are just fuck buddies.

“Oh fuck Shad!” she moaned loudly as I devoured her pussy. Licking and sucking all over her clit two of my fingers penetrated deep inside of her; massaging her walls smoothly and the responded by coating me in their sweetness. Her hands gripped the couch cushions before finding a spot on my head.

Her back arched high moans of pleasure rolled off her tongue and bounced off the walls. Growing louder her moans turned into screams and shortly she came right into my mouth. Kissing up her thighs I placed a kiss on her clit before continuing trailing them up and stopping at her lips.

Her hands undid my jeans and shoved them down along with my boxers. Taking the head of my dick I teased her body watching sweat build up on her forehead and her face twist up in frustration mixed with pleasure.

“Please,” she gasped. “Don’t tease me.” she whined as her bottom lip trembled.

Pushing inside of her she inhaled sharply holding it until I was fully inside of her. Rolling my hips I got a nice rhythm going then began to speed up. Kissing on her neck and lips I continued to stroke in and out of her; “Shaaaaad!”

“Damn Jay.” I grunted. “Fuck me bae!” she hollered digging her nails into my bare back. Moaning and groaning our bodies continued to clash together echoing with our moans. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and tears of pleasure slipped from her eyes.

“I-I-I’m going to cum!” she yelled a split second before her body shook releasing her orgasm. Still going her walls tightened around me causing me to twitch inside of her. “God damn!” I growled into the skin of her neck. She continued to whimper from the sensation of me sliding in and out of her sensitive pussy.

“Shit!” I hollered as I felt myself releasing inside of her.

My eyes closing for a moment as my whole body tingled; when I did opened my eyes we both looked in each others eyes. Nothing being said but the emotion was tense. There was no denying that something was starting up between us.

Only thing is are we willing to go back on our words for something that’s undeniably present in the both of us?

• Janean

A couple weeks later

“You going out with us tonight?” Shad asked me over the phone. “Hm nah. Ima just chill tonight.” I let out a small breath allowing Princess to jump in my lap. It’s been two weeks since the whole blow up and I’ve just been distancing myself from everyone. Just to get my head and thoughts together.  

“Wanna go for a walk?” I asked Princess while I ruffled her ears.

Barking and wagging her tail she put a small smile on my face,”I’ll take that as an yes.” I chuckled and stood to my feet. “Mimi! I’m taking Princess for a walk. You need anything while I am out?” I asked walking into her room; sitting at the foot of her bed.

“Child I’m fifty not ninety I can get up and go to the store if need be.” She teased. “I know I’m just asking woman.” I laughed and kissed her cheek. 

“Are you staying over tonight? If so get something for dinner.”

“Anything in particular?”

“Hm. Not really as long as its simple. You cooking tonight.” She laughed.

“Ugghhh fineeee! I’ll be back.” I sluggishly pushed myself off of the bed going to find Princess’ leash.

Once I had her leash I clipped it to her collar and we headed out the door with my purse in hand. “Come on girl.” I clicked my tongue as I cooed. Walking down the street I let my mind wonder all over the place.

One thing seemed to constantly sticking out to me; Bow. I mean from his smile to his infectious laugh I can’t but cheese and giggle like a school girl with my first crush. Maybe I should go out tonight staying in wont do me too much of any good.

Feelings for Bow have surfaced before but I just simply buried them and labeled them as lust. After all we are only fuck-buddies and the whole getting attached thing was definitely isn’t suppose to happen.

If I were to be completely honest with myself and ‘explore’ my feelings I’d have to say I’m developing feelings for him. I can’t let him know that and plus I’m not sure if I want a relationship right now.

____

“What’s the matter baby? You’ve barely touched your food?” Mimi asked placing her hand on top of mine. “Nothing.” I smiled falsely and took a small bite of the food I prepared. 

“Janean I know you. Whatever is bothering you; you can tell me. Alright baby?”

“I know Mimi it’s just I’m not proud of something’s and there is this guy…” I trailed off with a sigh.

“It’s not that Lance fellow is it? I just don’t think he’s for you hunny.” She admitted.

“No it’s not him Mimi. I stopped talking to him a while ago. It’s my neighbor.” I pouted.  

“Let me guess. You ignored my talk for the trillionth time met this boy slept with him and you like him?” She guessed. 

“Almost. He’s not looking for a relationship and I can’t help but develop those type of feelings.”

“Sounds like your grandfather before I came along.” Mimi laughed causing me to chuckle.

“What did you do Mimi?” I asked.

“Nothing to be honest, he chased me.” She winked causing me to laugh a little. “I’m not going to tell you what to do but you have two choices. Let him chase you or chase him.” She said simply and excused herself from the table.

Chasing him is most definitely out of the question. And he isn’t looking for a relationship right now so I’m shit out of luck. Unless I – but no that’s what led me to this situation. Clearing the table my phone started to ring loudly in my bra; “Hello?”

“Hey. I know you said you were chilling tonight but come out with ya boy. Just me and you.”

“Hmm I guess I’ll come out just for you.”

“Good. Now text me the address.” He said and ended the call. I am gonna have to get in his ass about hanging up on me. Biggest pet peeve!  I tapped out Mimi’s address in a text and sent it to him before jogging up the stairs quickly to my room to throw on some clothes.

I have no idea where we are going so something simple should do. Once I finished dressing myself and spraying body mist on myself; I peeked my head into Mimi’s room.

Sleep. I knew it.

I closed her door quietly and headed downstairs and out the front door to wait on the porch. I sat there in the cool nights air humming to the music that played on my iPhone.

His car came to a slow stop in front of the house and it felt like my heart skipped a beat. I locked the front door and trotted down the few steps. Once I got in his car his cologne instantly filled my nose relaxing my body into the seat. 

“Hey.” I smiled. 

“Wassup.”

“Nothing where are we going?” I asked as we drove down the street. “Well that’s where you come in. I want you to pick.” He chuckled. “Wait you scoop me up so I can hang with you but have no idea where we going? Wow.” I laughed.

“Shut up and just pick a place.” He chuckled.

“Hmm well it is Saturday night. I don’t wanna go to a club. Let’s go to Starbucks then the park. Ain’t too much else we can do.”  I laughed scrolling through my feed on instagram.

Once we got to Starbucks we ordered our drinks and got some snacks on the way to the park. The cool night’s air blew around us rustling in the trees around us.

We sat under one of the biggest trees talking and joking while the half-crescent moon shined down on us. “It’s just weird yo. Everything is changing.” I laughed a little with a sigh. “Like what?” he asked.

“Well first the whole thing between me and the girls; and then well just me in general. I feel like I’m changing.” I sipped my hot chocolate before taking a bite of my snickers.

“How do you feel like you’re changing?” he inquired. “I don’t know I guess just my views on things have changed. I just want more in life then what I wanted before.” I shrugged.

“I feel you. I’ve been there. Like I get to that point and I be on the fence about it.” He ate some of his candy then glanced at me. 

“Yeah I just always felt like marriage or an exclusive relationship wasn’t for me.”

“Exactly my mom’s is always trying to get me to settle down.” He chuckled. “Mimi is always doing the same to me too. She just doesn’t understand. I just love sex! And I haven’t necessarily met the one that makes me not want to fuck anybody else.” I laughed.

“What do you mean by necessarily?” he teased.

“Shut up. I just mean there might have been one that hit the nail on the head or close to it but shit happens you know.” I smiled softly. 

“What about you though? I know I been going on and on and on. You probably tired if me talking.”

“Nah I like hearing you talk.” He chuckled.

“But I been chilling and shit. Working mostly.” He shrugged and I leaned over and laid my head on his shoulder. “Do you ever think that you might finally hop off the fence and get married or something?” I probed.

“I don’t know if it happens it happens. If not oh well. I just don’t see it happening because I feel like I’m addicted to women.” He chuckled.

“Nah you just love pussy.” I laughed along with him.

“I ain’t even gon’ lie, I do love pussy. But like you though I just never found that one that made me want to stop fucking other bitches.” He shrugged and took my drink out of my hand and swallowed what was left in the cup before tossing the empty cup into the grass.

• Shad (Bow]

“You know the trash can is sitting right there.” She pointed next to me. “You were going to get up and throw it away?” I questioned and she shook her head no.  

“Alright then.” I chuckled nudging her.

“You ready to go?” I asked.

“I don’t want to leavvveeeee!” She whined.

“What you wanna do now then?” I laughed.

“Anywhere but home.” She giggled. 

Standing up I wrapped my arm around her shoulder as we walked to the car. “We can go to my place. I’m sure everybody is still out.” I suggested. “Um only because I don’t wanna go back just yet.” She concluded after a moment. Once we got into the car we made it back to my place in what seemed like no time at all. 

***

“Oh shit! Shad! Fuck this pussy!!” Jay hollered at the top of her lungs. Hitting it from the back I gripped he hair tightly and yanked her head backwards. One minute we were just talking and laughing and the next we’re fucking like rabbits. It’s crazy though because this is not even what I intended to happen tonight – it just happened.

Especially after our conversation we had at the park. I felt like there was something I should have taken away from it but I’m not sure what it was that I was supposed to take away from it.

“Fuck Jay!” I groaned as she squeezed her walls around me.

I felt her body shaking as her knees began to buckle making this the end of round three for the both of us.  “Ah! Ah! Ah!” she yelled with a gasp before she released herself – and I followed shortly after.

Our bodies covered in sweat and our breathing hard and rough. My body collapsed to side of hers and her body went limp and fell into my lap. She blinked her eyes sleepily and small smile eased its way onto her face.

“I didn’t know your eyes changed colors. They are green right now.” She said softly and her fingertips gently brushed my cheek bone. “Yeah they do that sometimes.” I chuckled completely out of breath.  

“Well let me get dressed and what not. I’ll take a cab home.” She yawned. “I’ll take you back Jay. Or you could just stay here.” I offered.

“That’s sweet but I think I better go. “ She smiled and tossed on her sweat shirt.

I watched her dress as I dressed myself just as voices could be heard outside the door.  “Damn it.” She sighed fixing her jeans on her body. “What the fuc– Oh hey Jay.” Tyga said as him and the girls followed him inside with Chris.

“Uh hi.” She waved awkwardly.  Destiny waved back and China had a stank look on her face. 

“Bow I’ll see you later.”

“Nah let me take you home.” I insisted and fixed my clothes on my body before sliding my feet into my adida flip flops. We both walked out the door and I closed it behind us.

Both of us said not one word not even during the whole ride back. “Look um I’m sorry about that.” I felt like I had to apologize. “Don’t. It’s not your fault.” She smiled softly and leaned over to kiss my cheek.

“See ya friend.” She smiled and got out the car and jogged up the stairs. I waited until saw her go inside before turning the car back on.

“See ya friend.” I muttered.